Communication in Relationships
The event I attended was a lecture given by Mike Domitrz called “Can I Kiss You?”. The lecture challenged the regular ideals that women and men have about relationships. It inspired men and women to have deeper insight into what it means to acknowledge a person fully when advancing on them in a sexual situation. This lecture places Loyola’s Jesuit traditions into action. The talk was centered on the ideals of educating men and women to be the whole person, teaching them to better communicate with each other when in a sexual situation.
In the lecture “Can I Kiss You?”, Mr. Domitrz focused on common themes in relationships men and women seem to assume. Themes such as the signals men and women give off during sexual situations and common terms men and women use when addressing each other in social situations. Mr. Domitrz also addressed common feelings such as embarrassments women fear or idiocy men fear when approaching sexual circumstances. He then asked a series of questions, instituting the regular response. Question like; “Should women have the same rights as men?”; “Should men make the first move?” and “If women were to make the first move would they feel hesitant in fear of being labeled in obscene terms?” He then took these responses and performed skits to show what happens when women and men use verbal communication to show their desires intended, instead of just using actions. The results were not awkward like the crowd had anticipated, but actually made for a more respectful relationship. Both parties were surprised at each sides reactions, but equally glad at such responses. When communicating men and women both seemed to be more relaxed and felt better as a whole.
By educating us to live in a right relationship with men and women, Mr. Domitrz is keeping the Loyola tradition alive. Similar to the reading, “The Service of Faith and Promotion of Justice in Jesuit Higher Education” By: Peter-Hans Kolvenbach; Mr. Domitrz is using the idea of promotion of justice. By speaking across the country about living in right relationship with each other, he is putting a strategy into action to better the world. By giving talks, he is giving face to an issue that needs a voice.
Another issue Mr. Domitrz brought up during the lecture was sexual assault. He spoke about the time he found out his sister had been raped and how this had impacted his life. He spoke about the pain his sister’s rape had caused him and the anger he had felt inside. After talking to his sister about the event, he spoke about how he knew he had to work against this type of thing happening to anyone else. He also knew how he needed to tell other victims that people cared and loved them. His sister’s rape inspired him to join the awareness organization. Our readings for Wednesday focus intently on taking action and connecting people to such actions, which is exactly what Mr. Domitrz did. Our reading focuses on how everyone is connected and we must live in solidarity with them to achieve prosperity. He practices promotion of justice everyday in his lectures and through working with other groups focused on working towards the same goal.
Through this lecture, “Can I Kiss You?”, I learned that Jesuit values not only impact your education but all aspects of your life. Simply communicating your intentions will guide you to a healthier relationship, and through action we can truly live out Jesuit values.